Jokes! 

Heard a good joke lately? Send it in!

Q: Why is '6' afraid of '7'?

˙(ǝuıu ǝʇɐ uǝʌǝs) 9 8 7 ǝsnɐɔǝq :ɐ

Q: What weighs 5,000 pounds and wears glass slippers? 

˙ʇuɐɥdɐןןǝɹǝpuıɔ :ɐ

Submitted by: Khalid Ahmed Husain from Hartford/Connecticut

KNOCK KNOCK WHO IS THERE YA YA WHO YAHOO

Submitted by: Noman Ahmed from Brooklyn

20 people are diving in a pool. 24 heads came out. How did that happen?

A: 20 foreheads came out

Submitted by: Rohale Ahmad, Chicago West

 Q: What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

 A: Marry me Im a kela!!! (Akela as in alone in urdu! ) And A kela which means banana in urdu!

Submitted by: Salman Ahad Jamil, Silver Spring

Q: What's black, white and red all over?

A: A Zebra with a sunburn

Submitted by: Moeen Khan, Chicago West

Q: What building has the most stories?

A: A library!

Submitted by: Seraz Qamar, South Virginia

Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?

A: A snailor

Submitted by: Moaz Ahmad, Dallas

Q: Why did a dog run away?

A: Because the dog needed a hotdog

Submitted by: Amjad Ahmad, Chicago West

Q: If you are trapped in a metal room with no openings at all, and there is only a mirror and a table in there, how do you get out?

A: You look into the mirror, you see what you saw, you take the "saw" cut the table in half,
two halves make a Whole, you jump through the whole (hole) and you are out!
Submitted by: Rizwan Ahmed Mir, Chicago West

Knock! knock!"who's there?" "boo" " boo who?" " don't cry it's just a joke"

Submitted by: Rohale Ahmad, Chicago Wes
Q: Why do birds fly south in winter?
A: It's too far to walk
Submitted by: Tri Walandari, Indonesia

Knock, knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who?
Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who?
Knock, Knock Who's there?
Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Submitted by: Rizwan Alladin, Long Island, NY

Q: A cowboy rides into town on friday. He stays for 3 days, then left on Friday. How did he do that..

  A: The horses name was Friday

Submitted by: Yasir Ayudib, Houston, Texas
Q: What fish fought in the mid-evil times?
A: A sword fish. 

-Submitted By: Nisar Sahikh, San jose

Q: Why did the donut go to the dentist?
A: To get a chocolate filling.

— Submitted By: Zafrullah Malik, South Virginia

Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?
A: A carrot.

— Bilal Kahloon, Long Island, NY

There was a prisoner that dug a hole out of the jail to freedom. He ended up in a preschool playground. He started shouting "I'm free, I'm free!". A little student from the preschool came up to him and said, "Big deal, I'm four!".

— Feraz Bhatti, Silver Spring, MD

Q: What comes once in a year and twice in a week?
A: "e"
Submitted by: Adeel Ahmad Malik, Philadelphia, PA

Q: What do you call cheese thats not yours?
A: Nacho cheese
Submitted by: Saqib Nasir, North Houston _______________________________________________________________________________
What is a aliens favorite keyboard key ?
A: A spacebar

Submitted by: Daanish Ahmed Chaudry, Richmond Hill

Q:where do pencils come from
A: pennsilvania!

Submitted by: Ibshar S. Khandakar

A little kid goes to school and the teacher asks him, "What is your name?" He replies that he doesn’t know. His teacher sends him home to find out his name. His mother is on the phone, and she is really mad. The child asks her, "What's my name?" His mom, not listening, says "What's your problem!" to the person on the phone. ..The boy goes upstairs into his big brother's room and he is watching football. He asks, “What's my name?" His brother, not listening, says, "49! 49!" The child goes into his sisters room who is listening to music and asks, “What’s my name?" His sister, not listening, says "Ah huh, Ah huh!" He goes into his little brother's room, and he is watching TV. He asks, "What's my name?" His brother, not listening says, "Da Da Da Da, Batman!" The next day the boy goes to school and his teacher asks him, "So, what is your name?" He replies, "What's your problem!" The teacher, feeling offended by this, says, "How many detentions do you want?" The boy says, "49! 49!" The teacher asks him," Do you want to go to the principal’s office?" He answered, "Ah huh, Ah huh!" So the boy is sent to the principal’s office. The Principal asks him, "Who do you think you are!?" He says, " Da da da da, Batman!"
Submitted by: Salman Omer, North Jersey

What is a aliens favorite keyboard key ?
A: A spacebar
Submitted by: Daanish Ahmed Chaudry, Richmond Hill

How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Add a little boogie into it
Submitted by: Amala Ahmed Chaudry

A man was coming home from work late at night. On the way home his wife called him and asked, "Where are you?" "Im on the way home" he replied. "Ok well be careful", she said "On the news they said someone is driving on the wrong side of the road."Really?" her husband replied. "Everyone is driving on the wrong side of the road!"

Submitted by: Hassan Mahmood, Houston Cypress

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is 9 (nine) afraid of 7 (seven)?
 A: Becasue 789 (seven, ate, nine).

Submitted by: Hashir Ayubi, Cypress Houston

           What do you call a fish without an eye?
            A: fsh
Submitted by: Humza Abaidullah

_
Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?
A:  A garbage truck

Submitted by: Waleed Ahmad, Brooklyn

  Q:Who did not cross the road?
  A: The Bannana
                                    
  Submitted by: Noman Ahmed, Brooklyn
______________________________________________________________________________________
ONE day there were three business men sitting in an airport waiting for there flight. American, Japanese and a Pakistani. All men then get in to the topic discussion of Technology. From this topic they entered in to a debate in to "Who's country has the most advanced technology". The American man starts to here ringing and holds his hand up as if it was phone and starts to talk. " Hello honey how are you...Oh is that so, well I'm waiting in the airport for my flight, see you in two hours okay...Okay Love you to". The Japanese and the Pakistani question, "What were you doing?". The American replied, "Our technology is so advanced that when we recieve a phone call, we just have to raise our hands, hold out our pinky for the speaker and stick our thumb up and start talking. The Japanese and the Pakistani agree and a moment of silence over comes. After a few minutes, all the men here a ringing and the Japanese says "Oh, my phone!". Then he starts talking, randomly and puzzels the American and Pakistani. After ending his converation in Japanese, the American and Pakistani ask the man "What were you doing just now?". The Japanese replied, "Our technology is so advanced that we can just talk and recieve a connection through our head". The puzzeled American and Pakistani agree and move on. Now the Pakistani thinks what type of technology is present in there country. He excuses him self and goes to the bathroom. A few minutes later he comes out, with tissue stuffed in his ear and rolling out leading to the bathroom. The American and Japanese wait and try to think about what is going on. Patience runs and and both the American and Japanese state at the same time "What are you doing". The Pakistani states "Shhh...I'm getting a fax".

Submitted by: Taimur Ahmad, Long Island
______________________________________________________________________________
Q. What did the mother bison say to her son before he went to school?
A. Bi-son

Q. Why is Pennsylvania called the funniest state?
A. Because, even the liberty bell is cracken up

Q. What did one wave say to the other wave when they met?
A. nothing they just waved

(submitted by Humza Abaidullah from Philadelphia)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were 3 hunters one hunter said I see deer track I see deer I shoot deer, deer fall down. The second hunter said, I see buffalo track, I see buffalo,I shoot buffalo, buffalo fall down.The third hunter said, I see train track,I see train,I shoot train, train no stop.
By Mateen Sheraz Bhatti, Silver Spring, MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were two seagulls flying over the sea. one of them said,KA KA KA KA.The other one said,funny,I was just about to say that.
By Mateen Sheraz Bhatti, Silver Spring, MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock, Knock Who's there?
You
You who?
What you don't know yourself?
By Takreem Janjua
________________________________________________________________________________
An elephant, a monkey and a mosquito were traveling on a motorcycle. They had an accident and the elephant and the monkey got hurt, but the Mosquito did not. Why do you think the Mosquito did not get hurt?
Answer: ʇǝɯןǝɥ ɐ ƃuıɹɐǝʍ sɐʍ oʇınbsoɯ ǝɥʇ
(Submitted by Sadakat Ahmad Choudhry of Laurel, MD)
________________________________________________________________________________
So, your in a chamber completely closed except for a door, an alarm that is thier to catch you if you try to escape, and three gaurds outside to catch you if you try to escape. how do you you get out safely? Answer: ʇno ʇǝƃ ʇuop noÊŽ
(Submitted by Daniyal Ahmad/Silver SPring, MD)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Why are you eating your spelling test?
Answer: you said it was a piece of cake.
Zohair A. / Silicon Valley, CA

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Third Grade Class Teacher: Mike, what was not here 10 years ago, but is here now?
Mike: Me!
Submitted by Sinaan Younus of Baltimore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An elephant, a monkey and a mosquito were traveling on a motorcycle. They had an accident and the elephant and the donkey got hurt, but the Mosquito did not. Why do you think the Mosquito did not get hurt?
Answer: The mosquito was wearing a helmet.
Submitted by Sadakat Ahmad Choudhry of Laurel, MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man went to the president.  He said, "Can I own this country?"
Horrified, the president replied, "NO WAY!"
The man said, "But I thought that this country was free!"

Submitted by Sinaan Younus of Baltimore, MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Why did the surfers wear a baseball mitt?
Answer: To catch the wave
Submitted By Daniyal Ahmed - Silver Spring, MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
knock knock...
who's there?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Do we keep on having to hear these jokes !

Submitted by Yasir Ahmad Qureshi, Boston

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 men walk into a bar. The first 2 yell ouch. The third man ducks,

Submitted by : Mir Kamal , Chicago West

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man checked into a hotel in Australia. There was a computer in his room,so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband\'s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow\'s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To : My Loving Wife Subject : I\'ve Arrived Date: May 27 2006 I know you\'re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I\'ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.s It is very hot down here !!

Submitted by : Mir Kamal , Chicago West