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The Islamic Marriage System

THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE SYSTEM

Marriage structures the basic unit of human society and lays the foundation of the family. Healthy families are required for the cohesive preservation of the human race. So Allah commands the believers to marry for its benefits morally, spiritually, socially, psychologically. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be on him) said:

"Marriage is my precept and my practice. Those who do not follow my practice are not of me."

And

"When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion."

Purpose of Marriage in Islam

Allah has enjoined marriage for the believers for three basic reasons. They are:

1. To enable a man and a woman to live together and experience love and happiness, within Islamic law.

2. To produce children, and provide a stable and righteous environment for their upbringing.

3. To provide a legal union which safeguards society from moral and social degradation.

Importance of Marriage

According to the Islamic point of view, marriage is not an ordinary combination of two opposite sexes, nor is it only to quench one's sexual desires. It is rather holy reunion of two inevitable life companions on whose virtues or vices lies the prosperity or the disaster of human society. Marriage in Islam means laying the foundation of a fabric from which emerges a benevolent and beneficial society and therefore it enjoins upon every Muslim to marry. The first thing in this respect is that what the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has said: O company of the youth! he who can afford to marry should marry, for it keeps the eyes cast down and keeps the man chaste; and he who cannot afford to marry should take to fasting for it will have a sobering effect upon him.

Institution of Marriage and Peaceful Society  

According to this tradition it is quite clear that the purpose of marriage in Islam, as far as society is concerned, is to keep society chaste, healthy and pure from grossness and immorality. A man who can afford to marry and yet he refrains to marry must definitely be led to immorality and will be a nuisance to society which we today observe clearly as due to the so-called modern civilization.
On the other hand when one is already married one would remain content and would not loiter about but would lead a pleasant family life. The second thing that Islam says in this regard is that marriage has its lasting effects. Primarily it affects the lives of two persons and then comes the question of family and children. As long as the man is responsible for the maintenance of the family and children he will be forced to be away from the house for considerable periods of time and so the children would not be properly looked after and trained. The responsibility of their well-being and training has therefore been laid upon the woman by Islam. If the woman is chaste, pious, and religious, she would bring up the children in a well trained manner and thus the society emerging from these children would be highly moral and respectable. For this purpose the Holy Prophet of Islam said: A woman is married for four things: (1) for her wealth; (2) for nobility of her family; (3) for her beauty and (4) for her (good) character, so attain success with one possessing good character.
It is evident from this tradition that Islamic marriage is based upon the betterment of the society and therefore the Holy Prophet of Islam left no stone unturned and let no opportunity go in this respect. Consequently he said: bring up the society pure, religious and straightforward the Holy Quran enjoins upon its followers that they should not marry idolaters because by doing so the purity of the worship of God would be adversely affected and the coming generations would become irreligious and estranged from God hence influencing their strength of character and poluting their religious feelings and leading them astrays.
The Holy Quran says: And marry not idolatrous women until they believe; even a believing bond women is better than an idolatress, although she may please you. And give not believing women in marriage to idolaters until they believe; even a believing slave is better than an idolater, although he may please you.... (2:222) It is clear from this verse that Islam demands a purely religious and moral society in which there would be no godlessness and immorality.
The main object of Islam is that purity and piety should be imbibed in the practice of Muslim to such an extent that their characters would become impeccable and faultless.

Premarital Conduct

One of the greatest causes of immorality is secret relationship between men and women and then the grave consequences which cause confliction, collision, and ultimately separation.
Allah Talah says in the Holy Quran:[5:6] This day all good things have been made lawful for you. And the food of the People of the Book is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And lawful for you are chaste believing women and chaste women from among those who were given the Book before you, when you give them their dowries, contracting valid marriage and not committing fornication nor taking secret paramours. And whoever rejects the faith, his work has doubtless come to naught, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers. 
To nip the evil in its very bud, the Holy Prophet of Islam said: No marriage is legal without the permission of the guardian.This saying of the Holy Prophet shows that unless the would-be couple is known to the guardian (who is father and in his absence uncles and brothers respectively, or when all the legal guardians are absent, then the qazi (the judge) and unless the marriage tie is agreed upon by them the marriage is not valid. In Islam when the agreement is reached and when all conditions of marriage are settled, then an announcement is to be made in the mosque or in court before a group of Muslims so that they may stand as witness that this marriage is legal and all its natural consequences are legimate. Islam does not permit sexual relations, even preliminary acts of physical love, outside of marriage.
To remain sexually inactive and chaste before marriage is an extremely important injunction in the Holy Qur'an. Adultery, fornication and having secret relationships with the opposite sex is a heinous moral lapse which is categorically condemned in the strongest terms by Islam. This prohibition includes dating, secret paramours and experimental living together. As these are regarded as heavy sins, they carry severe penalties. [24:3] The adulteress and the adulterer (or the fornicatress and the fornicator) — flog each one of them with a hundred stripes. And let not pity for the twain take hold of you in executing the judgment of Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.
[24:4] The adulterer (or fornicator) shall not marry but an adulteress (or fornicatress) or an idolatrous woman, and an adulteress (or fornicatress) shall not marry but an adulterer (or fornicator) or an idolatrous man. That indeed is forbidden to the believers. Holy Qur'an has provided the means for maintaining chastity. It directs believing men and women to restrain themselves from looking at each so openly as to be sexually excited by them. It further directs them to restrain their ears from listening to flirtatious and tempting talk and to avoid occasions which might lead to temptation. Fasting, dieting and exercise also help to control passions and maintain chastity.

Prayer for a Successful Marriage

And those who say, `Our Lord, grant us of our wives and children the delight of our eyes, and make us a model for the righteous.' (25:75)

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